People Who Need To Be CroCop’d: The Revenge!

8 12 2009

What’s good, World? Sorry I haven’t been updating this blog in a while, I’ve been busy with work, training, getting ready to move to the city, and whatnot, but I’m back and ready to update you with a new list of people who need to have a date with CroCop’s shin!

Now, before I begin, I would like to make a change to the previous list, which could be found at http://wp.me/pADPv-C (because I suck at html and have no way to turn a simple phrase into a link). I would like to remove Robert Pattinson (who stars as Edward Cullen) from the list because it has come to my attention that he actually HATES the Twilight series and thinks that the author is a delusional adult (check Google if you don’t believe me). Therefore, he is removed from the list. Now, onward to the new list!

  1. Kanye West – Hey Kanye, I’ m really happy for ya, and Imma let you finish, but your stunt in the VMAs was total douchebaggery. Total douchebaggery! Don’t get me wrong, I like his music, but the man is so egotistical it makes me sick to my stomach. I’m kinda ashamed to even like his work, to be honest.
  2. Any Youtube celebrity who’s not the Angry Video Game Nerd,  Marie Digby, the creaters of Ask A Ninja, Dr. Ashen, or associated with Red Matter Media – The reason why I leave these few people out of the several people on Youtube who are in dire need of having their brains scrambled is because these people have talent! Got it? T-A-L-E-N-T! In fact, don’t bother searching up anyone but those people I mentioned on the site because it’s a waste of time if you’re looking for an example of the word (by the way, go to http://www.redmattersite.com and sign on to the forums. Tell ’em a crazy Nova Scotian that knows how to choke people sent you)!
  3. Uwe Boll – The man has killed several video games by making crappy movie adaptations of them. I used to like Bloodrayne until he decided to do a movie about it, that jerk. Plus, anyone who feels the need to have a boxing match with his critics to shut them up (I’m not kidding, he fought his critics….in a boxing match. Seriously.) deserves to take part in a MMA match and see how it feels to actually fight. I can volunteer! *cracks knuckles*
  4. Erik Estavillo – For the longest time, I didn’t have the faintest clue of who this guys is, but then again, I haven’t been to GamePolitics for the longest time either. Here’s the skinny; this guy sues Sony for banning him from online play on the PlayStation Network for being a douche, then sues Microsoft for his Xbox 360 getting the Red Ring of Death, sues Nintendo for firmware updates messing up a channel that helps him unlock stuff without any effort (hacking, basically), then sues Activision/Blizzard for, get this, making the characters in World of Warcraft walk slow! Now, I do feel his pain on the Xbox 360 crapping out, considering I had the same problem, but did I sue Microsoft for it? No! I just hooked up the PlayStation 2, and enjoyed some nostalgia! Therefore, he needs to kick to the cranium to wake the hell up!
  5. War Machine – No, I’m not talking about “The War Machine” Rhino, or War Machine the Marvel comics character, I’m talking War Machine the MMA fighter. Guy’s a loony Mcloonytin, and the fact that he changed his name to War Machine proves it! Oh well, police are already searching for him, so he’ll have a date with the Health Inspector sooner or later! NAW PICK UP DAH SOAP!

Ok, so I think I’ve put enough people on this list for the time being. Hopefully I could put up an editorial or two somewhere down the line, but until then, stay frosty!

Disclaimer: Don’t take this seriously! This entry is just for comedic value and there is absolutely no malice intended!….Ok, maybe a little!

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3 responses

8 12 2009
Johnroy

I like the AVGN 😀

8 12 2009
Fayte

War Machine, as I hear it, has also recently broken into the adult entertainment industry…I was wondering why I hadn’t heard about him fighting lately =P

8 12 2009
philharrismma

@Johnroy – I do too. Also check out Dr. Ashen on Youtube if you get the chance to. He reviews very cheap knockoffs of consoles and other gadgets. Plus he’s British, so expect some humor there.

@ Fayte – Yeah, I knew about that. I’m ashamed that I didn’t mention it on the post because it ties in to the reason why the cops are after him. Long story short, there was an “adult entertainment” party and he went absolutely nuts and knocked out a couple of male “adult entertainers” and ran out before the police arrived. Another reason why War Machine is nuts.

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