10 People Who Need To Be CroCop’d (In No Order)

25 08 2009

Nowadays I see a lot of people, mostly in pop culture, who just annoy the everything out of me, and I’m sure that they annoy the general populace  as well. So as a service to mankind, I have created a list of 10 people who deserve who get CroCop’d (For the casual MMA fans, and people who have no clue what I’m talking about, getting CroCop’d means getting a shin upside the noggin’. This is made famous by Croation MMA fighter Mirko CroCop, who was known for knocking his opponents out with, you guessed it, a head kick.) So here it comes: the list!

  1. Perez Hilton – Why? Because that slap he got from Will.I.Am’s (of Black Eyed Peas fame) manager hasn’t got him to stop running that poor excuse for a website, maybe getting a shin to his fat head will. Plus, he kinda compared himself to Rihanna when people said that he deserved it, saying “Did Rihanna deserve it when she got beaten up by Chris Brown?” No. Mainly because Rihanna is a talented singer. You just annoy people.
  2. Stephanie Meyer – For completely screwing up how people look at vampires now. Back then, when people had vampire movies like Dracula, Interview with A Vampire, Blade, and others, vampires were looked at as bloodsucking, card-carrying bad asses who demanded respect. Now, thanks to Stephanie Meyer’s series of impromptu toilet paper, now vampires are looked at as sparkling emo sissies. Thanks, Mrs. Meyer, thanks a ton. Oh, and could you do me a favor and tell all those damn fangirls that Edward Cullen doesn’t exist? It’s hard enough getting a date when getting compared to that dipstick!
  3. Robert Pattinson – See above.
  4. Jonas Brothers – If I really have to explain myself, then apparently you haven’t seen the South Park episode regarding the Jonas Brothers. Simply put, the whole “purity ring” business is just a way to sell sex without all the public knowing it. To quote Russell Brand on this subject: “As long as those rings are on their hands, no one will know where those hands have been going.” (Did he actually say that? Haven’t a clue. I remember him saying it during a comedy show but I can’t find the exact quote, so bite me)
  5. People who wear “TapOut”, “Affliction”, or any fight shirts but don’t train – To clarify, I don’t mind people walking around with those type of shirts, not at all. It’s the people who wear those shirts and try to pass off as a fighter. Fighter posers, basically. This annoys me to no end. Guys, if you wanna wear a “TapOut” shirt and call yourself a fighter, make someone in your gym tap out!
  6. People with crappy cars that have spoilers, body kits, etc. – Seriously? Why waste your money on a crappy car like a Dodge Neon in hopes of making it look like a reject from “The Fast And The Furious”? Sorry, but the only thing you guys are succeeding in doing is making yourselves looking like tools.
  7. Jack Thompson – Only the hardcore gamers will know who this guy is and why he deserves to be on here.
  8. Paris Hilton – *sigh* She’s given more reasons to get CroCop’d in her daily life than I care to write down: being famous for being the daughter of a owner of a crappy line of hotels, putting out a crappy sex tape, being a crappy singer, being a crappy actress. See the trend? Good.
  9. Lady Gaga – Ok, I will admit that her song “Just Dance” is catchy as hell, but half the time she looks like a drug addict. Plus there have been rumors about her having “mixed nuts”. And I’m not talking about almonds and cashews.
  10. Chris Brown – I cannot, and will not, condone violence against women. At all. Therefore, not only does Chris Brown deserve to get CroCop’d, but he should also have Cheick Kongo knee him in the groin a couple of times.

So, that’s it! Hopefully you guys enjoyed this list!


Training Log #3

25 08 2009

Hey Everyone!

Just got back from jujitsu training today. Got a nice workout and had the chance to practice some stuff that I already knew.  Here’s how it went!

After a nice warm up, we first started the class working on sweeps that we knew from our back (sit-up sweeps, scissor sweeps, butterfly sweeps, etc). I’ve noticed that my sit-up sweeps were quick and clean, but I have to work on some of the other ones. After that, we worked on any guard passes that we knew, which I felt needed a bit more work. Luckily, I got a “Ultimate MMA” magazine a couple of weeks ago that has some potent guard passes that are worth studying for next time.

Next, we worked on very light rolling (the jujitsu term for sparring). Little to no resistance, just working on submissions, submission escapes, transitions, sweeps, just working on proper technique. I impressed my partner (who was a blue belt) with nice armbar escape that I learned from “FIGHT” magazine a couple of months ago. Here’s a youtube video of BJ Penn doing it (it’s the second one, and also I don’t own the video or created it in any way. Yeah lame, I know, but would you want to piss BJ off? I wouldn’t!):

Anyway, we then worked on an escape from the half guard to taking someone’s back. Given my size, I had some trouble with this, but after a few more tries, I got used to it. It’s helpful because I don’t know a lot of moves from half guard so I’m gonna go over it in my head tonight until I’m sure that I could do it without any problems. Soon after, we did a drill that involved the guy on top to pass guard and the guy on bottom to either sweep or submit. Unfortunately, I didn’t fare so well, but then again, my failures allow me to learn and improve myself further.

Well, with that, the class was over. Yeah, I know it’s not much, so I’m gonna add a little something different for you guys!

Training Log #2

15 08 2009

Wow, what crazy week of training! I remember during my first year of doing this that I was going to two classes a week, but now that I have to bring up my cardio I’m going to a strength and conditioning class once a week. Suffice to say, my legs have been killing me for the last couple of days since doing striking and conditioning on the same day. They are feeling better today, still sore in same places, but I can still walk. Damn, the things I put myself through to get stronger.

Anyway, last Tuesday was pretty easy for me, just worked on a new takedown which I’m sure is a judo throw called “Tani Otoshi” or Valley Drop, followed by getting from side mount to full mount, followed by forcing the opponent to give up their back before finishing with a rear naked choke. Nothing too crazy, and I came out of that class without any injuries.

Thursday, on the other hand, was a test of my gameness, my heart. The initial warm up was more of a work out, with using a skipping rope, jogging, and what would be my least favorite exercise; wind sprints. Because I ended up getting tired and forced to slow down, the coach made me go through two more laps. So in addition to five laps, I did twelve more laps of wind sprints. So yeah, I was sucking wind after that. Then, we carried a heavy bag and walked around the mat for three, one minute intervals before slamming it on the ground.

Soon after, we worked on striking on the heavy bag while standing over it, pretending to keep ourselves from being nailed with an upkick, and when there’s ten seconds left, we threw a flying elbow followed by several straight punches from mount. After three rounds of this, we worked on being on the bottom, practicing upkicks while our partner was holding a thai pad.

The next drill I was put through involving standing over our partner while he was holding a thai pad and he was trying to control our knees and hips and keeping us from throwing decent punches on the pad. I was doing decently while standing over my partner until I realized I could hold the guys legs and control him so I could throw those punches without any problems. Too bad my partner didn’t clue in to this while he was standing over me, because I kept him from throwing any half-decent punches because I controlled him with ease.

Anyway, after that, we did more wind sprints, and guess who did two more? Yup, me! At the end of the class, I was sore as hell, sucking wind and trying to get all the oxygen I could.

Now, you’d think that this is where the entry ends. I was pushed, and I came through. I would’ve just went home, happy to get an intense workout as I watched TV and ate junk food. But I didn’t. I stayed over at the mall for a bit, and then went back for conditioning class.

For those who don’t understand how intense these classes are, let me put it this way: MMA conditioning classes would make your high school gym classes feel like a friendly game of “Duck, Duck, Goose”.  No surprise there, you’re training to be a fighter after all, so you gotta train your body to handle the intensity of an MMA bout.

The class involves circuits; one minute intervals at a station that involves an exercise, whether it’s ground and pound, bag work, shadowboxing with 5lb weights, etc.. Well, one of stations that was during this circuit involved an old friend from this afternoon. Yup, you guessed it, wind sprints. Not only that, it also involved wall jumps (getting on your hands and feet and putting your feet up on the wall twice) before doing the sprints. So, after the class, I was limping home, sore as hell, but happy to show myself how far I could push myself.

Test: Passed.

– PH

Training Log #1

8 08 2009

After spending five days at work, I finally got Wednesday and Thursday off, so I went to jujitsu class on Wednesday, and striking class on Thursday.

When I got to the gym on Wednesday, I got changed into my gi top and board shorts. I used to wear gi pants before, but I like wearing the board shorts more because it allows for more range of movement with my legs, plus I’ve noticed that the gi pants don’t really stay on me that well. Don’t know why.

Anyway, after getting changed, we got ourselves warmed up by….playing dodgeball. I’m not kidding. Well, it got me warmed up for the class, which involved three basic moves from guard: kimura, sit up sweep, and guillotine choke. These three attacks can work in a combo, like if I tried to put someone in a kimura and he postures up, I could combo that into a sit up sweep and get into mount position. Likewise, if he isn’t letting me get that sit up sweep, I could combo that into a guillotine choke, and then combo into the kimura I can’t get the choke, and then so on.

This is known as having a “machine gun” submission game. This involves on going from one submission to another submission or a sweep, to yet another submission or another sweep. The type of game keeps your opponent busy and focused on avoiding the sweep/submission than trying to break your guard.

Still don’t get it? Well, imagine if you’re standing with an experienced opponent, and you’re throwing single strikes all day. Not gonna work, right? Your strikes are not gonna go through, and most of them will be countered. If you throw combos at your opponent, your chances of landing an attack or knocking him out increase. Same thing with fighting on the ground. Get it now? Ok, good.

Anyway, after working with these three moves, we did a drill that involved the person on his back to sweep or submit the person in his guard with those some moves while the guy on top is trying to pass his guard. I started on my back and tried my best to get my opponent from breaking my guard, but no luck. Second time, while I was on top, I fared a little bit better. I was able to get into half guard, but as I trying to get out, the instructor said “Ok, now all moves are legal!”


Next thing I know, I either got kimura’d or swept from half guard (I can’t remember for the life of me because it’s been three days and I have the memory of a dried up goldfish), and the next time on top, I got armbar’d. Lucky for me, the guy I was with was dead tired, so I decided to take his place on my back.

My next partner was Anthony, a small guy. Nothing special, right? But remember, this is jujitsu we’re talking about, it’s history has been built from small guys making big guys like me tap out. So, just as soon as we start, he starts going for an Ezekiel Choke, in guard. Now, I’ve only been doing this for roughly about a year, but I do know this: you NEVER want to go for any kind of choke while in someone’s guard. Having your arms out there is basically an open invitation to getting put into a submission and playing the “three-tap” symphony.

So, as he was going for the choke, I used my long legs (and decent flexibility) to put my legs over his arms and push him away before sliding my left leg under his right arm and rolling over for an omoplata. In addition to sounding pretty funny, it’s actually one of the moves I could do without thinking. It’s kinda like a kimura, but with your legs. Check it out on youtube if you wanna know how to pull it off.

After getting the tap out, I ended up facing another smaller kid, an d after a brief struggle, I got yet another omoplata. And that concluded the class.


Next day,  I went into “Striking for MMA”, which is basically working on striking, whether it’s boxing, muay thai, or kickboxing. Most of the time it’s a small class (I’ve been in classes that just had me and the coach, which allowed me to have my own private class for free), which is great because that means I get more attention and be able to work on technique a lot more. Of course, this also means I can’t really be slacking on those same techniques.

After a quick warmup with the skipping rope, we started the first drill, which involved bobbing and weaving underneath a rope as close as you can without touching it. The whole point of the drill is to learn how to obviously bob and weave underneath punches before replying with some of your own attacks. After going through this drill five times, we did it backwards fives times before going with the next drill, bag work.

This drill was based off of our coach yelling numbers 1-5, which stood for combos (1 being a jab, 2 being a jab-cross, 3 being a jab-cross-lead hook, etc.) we had to throw before finishing with a rear Thai kick. And on the even numbers, we had to switch feet before throwing that kick. After a round of that, one of three people in the class worked with Thai pads while the other two worked on the bag with those combos.

After all three of us worked on the pads, we through two rounds of more bag work, followed by two rounds of throwing Thai knees while putting the wall in a imaginary Thai clinch. Now, during these drills, I was getting really tired, and being pushed to my limits, and after that last round of knees, I collapsed. Just like that. I’m not sure what made me to do that, whether it was the heat, or that energy drink I had that made me crash in the worst way, or what. But whether it was, I got right back up and breathed as much as I can to regain some of my stamina back before doing a wall sit for about a minute before ending the class.

Well, that’s my days of training for ya, hope to see you next time!


Kimbo Gets….TUF?

1 08 2009
Pic Courtesy Of Sherdog.Com (Hey, I dont feel like getting sued, ok?)

Pic Courtesy Of Sherdog.Com (Hey, I don't feel like getting sued, ok?)

As I’m sure anyone in the MMA world has known already (and if you’ve haven’t, where have you been?), former street fighter and youtube star Kevin Ferguson aka Kimbo Slice is going to be in the next season of The Ultimate Fighter. For the people who don’t know what’s been going on, the tenth season of the show is going to include heavyweights such as former UFC fighter Wes Sims, former IFL champion Roy Nelson, and three guys that were with the NFL. The couches for this season are going to be Rashad Evans and Quinton “Rampage” Jackson.

Simply put, saying that this season is going to be “big” would be both a horrible pun and an understatement.

Having Kimbo Slice in this season of The Ultimate Fighter was an interesting decision in the least for the former EliteXC main eventer. Coming from being thrusted into the spotlight fighting against less than stellar fighters like James Thompson and Tank Abbott to fighting in a reality show against better competition, this is going to be quite a test for Slice. Not to mention taking a huge pay cut (from half a mill in disclosed pay in his loss to TUF alumni Seth Petruzelli, to five grand just to finish a fight during the show).

Now while he may have rubbed some MMA purists the wrong way during his tenure with EliteXC due to his street fighting past, having Kimbo in TUF 10 is a great way to show those same purists (as well as newcomers to the sport) how humble he is and how much he wants to get away from that life he used to live. Plus, he’ll get shown under a much different light rather than what guys like Gary Shaw have promoted him as (Trust me, I was just annoyed as everyone was to hear Shaw hype him as Fedor’s worst nightmare).

Will he probably win that coveted six-figure contract? Maybe. Just gotta wait until September to see how far he goes in his quest to become….THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER!

(Sorry, couldn’t resist!)

UFC 101 Predictions

27 07 2009

Hey guys!

UFC 101:  Declaration is coming up in August 8th in Philadelphia, so I figured considering the most I’m doing right now is sitting on my butt, I might as well give my predictions for the event. Enjoy!

BJ Penn Vs. Kenny Florian (for the UFC Lightweight Championship) – Interesting match up here, because despite Penn being better than “KenFlo” on several aspects of the MMA game (crisp striking, god-like BJJ, great takedowns, and a killer instinct that’ll make Jason Voorhees jealous), there’s still a question mark on “The Prodigy’s” cardio and motivation, which I’ve been seeing from Kenny lately. Kenny’s been known to push the pace of a fight and still be fresh, and not only is this the second time he’s fighting for a title shot, this fight is all about Kenny “killing the master” in BJ Penn. Plus it’s been reported that Florian’s been training with GSP in preparation for this fight. This fight has potential for an upset, so I’m going with Kenny winning in the fourth round via (T)KO.

Anderson Silva Vs. Forrest Griffin – After his last two uneventful championship fights in the 185 division, Anderson Silva makes his return to the 205 division  to face former Light Heavyweight champion in Forrest Griffin. As much as I like to see Forrest Griffin come out with an upset like he did with Shogun, Anderson is just on a different level and, barring some injury, will probably put on a clinic en route to a unanimous decision that will make people forget about his last two fights. Sorry, Forrest! I hope you prove me wrong tho’!

Amir Sadollah Vs. Johny Hendricks – Tough call. Amir had to drop out of his first two fights due to injury, so it’s hard to say how much time he’s put in the gym, plus I’ve heard some things about Hendricks’ ground game. I’m just gonna go with my gut on this one and say Amir keeps the fight standing and wins via (T)KO in the 2nd.

Kendall Grove Vs. Ricardo Almeida – Kendall’s been on a roll, and I can’t see “Big Dog” stopping it anytime soon. “Da Spyder’s” long reach and decent ground game is gonna cause problems for Almeida and I see him being awarded a decision win.

Josh Neer Vs. Kurt Pellegrino – Don’t know a lot about these two, so….

*takes coin from pocket*

*flips it*

Ok, heads. Kurt wins. Submission in the 3rd round.

Well, here’s my predictions, let’s see if I’m right! *crosses fingers*


Hey Everyone!

26 07 2009

Well, this is the first post for my MMA blog, so I guess the best thing to do is to introduce myself, what got me into the sport of mixed martial arts and tell you what this blog is about.

My name is Phil Harris. I’m 20 years old and I’m living in a village in the Maritimes, I don’t like to drink and I never found a legit use for drugs and that’s not gonna change anytime soon, I’m the type of guy who doesn’t like being in the spotlight 100% of the time but likes to make a statement every now and then, and back in high school I was considered a loser and a geek. Still am.

I was first exposed to MMA the same way a lot of new fans are these days; The Ultimate Fighter. I saw the first season of TUF a few years ago and I was automatically sucked in. I didn’t understand all the intricacies of grappling, or the idea that these guys where trained in multiple arts . Hell, I didn’t understand a single thing about it. All I knew that it was interesting and I wanted to learn more about it. So I started watching any MMA fight that I could (even some of the old UFC fights back when Royce Gracie was making anyone with a pair of arms and legs tap out), and started learning anything and everything that I could. And it wasn’t long before I wanted to be part of this world.

There was only one problem: there was no MMA gyms around. At least none that I knew of anyway. So there I was, waiting for a path to open to get me started. There were plenty of “traditional” martial arts schools availible around me, but I wasn’t willing to waste my time learning techniques that I knew wouldn’t work in a MMA fight (Years later, Lyoto Machida would prove me wrong and is now my favorite fighter, oddly enough). Later in my life, I noticed that there was going to be a demo from a local MMA gym going on in the next town for the yearly Gala Days, so I hopped on my bike and headed down to see it. There, I saw the guys (and girl) use several submissions, punch and kick combinations, and they were really good. Interested, I grabbed a brochure and had a look at their website.

So now I found a MMA gym, but there was yet another problem. Two of them, actually. Lack of transportation, and lack of funds. So I ended up waiting until I left high school and got a job at a call center and then I found out almost a year into my job that the same MMA gym was very close to the bus route. Realizing that I had nothing to lose and being sick and tired of wasting my days off hanging out in a mall all by myself, I decided to join the gym and start training. And I’ve never looked back.

This blog is going to document the training that I do on my days off and my progress as an aspiring MMA fighter, a couple of editorials on certain MMA news, predictions on upcoming UFC events (I don’t follow DREAM or the other Japanese MMA orgs, I wish I had The Fight Network so I could tho’), and anything else that comes to my mind. I hope that people will read this blog and possibly have an understanding of what mixed martial artists like myself have to go through in their training and appreciate the hard work that we put in for this young sport.

Thanks for reading this and have a great weekend!

– PH